Just say NO To Drugs – The Black Sheep Thefts
Just say NO To Drugs – The Black Sheep Thefts
I will never forget the first item that I noticed had gone missing. It was my golden wedding band. I had taken it off after a bad argument with my husband and left it off my finger for a few days. When I went to go look for it to put it back on, it was no longer in the ring box on my dresser, which I had stored in one of the compartments.
My Husband And I looked Everywhere For My Wedding Band But No Matter Where We Looked, It Just Wasn’t Anywhere To Be Found.
I was so upset about my wedding band. I just couldn’t believe it was gone. Stupid me for taking it off in the first place, huh? Yep! So, a few months went by and that’s when I noticed other things missing. My small tape recorder, my father’s binoculars, DVD’s, CD’s, my supply of shavers, bath products, money ($44) I had left in an envelope, jewelry including my high school ring, silverware, important documents, pictures…..where were these things?
As my marital problems intensified, so did the thefts. I became paranoid and extremely angry so I lashed out at my husband alot. I sincerely felt like there was some evil spirit in our household. I could not stand the fact that I “thought” I was going crazy and from all of the stress I was enduring, perhaps I was the one taking these things and giving them away in a haze of some sort, just not remembering. But I knew that that was not it. I mean I was working hard full time, taking care of a child, sick a lot and trying to take care of things at home, but no, I know I was not going crazy.
Strange Things Started Happening
Men’s socks started to magically appear in the top drawer of my dresser, I kept smelling cigarette smoke throughout my home when I would return from work and our extra house key was missing. The blinds were a little disheveled, the door to our basement was even hanging on the hinges at one point. My computer was messed with more than once. I knew it was not my husband because I know his socks, he already had a key to our home, he would not dare touch my computer unless it were to turn it off and he does not smoke. So what was going on? I wondered.
Something happened though that made me go over the edge, ready to whoop somebody down like I had never whooped anybody down before! One day my digital camera WITH my child’s pictures on it disappeared and so did 2 of my Flip Cameras. That was it! I was LIVID! I looked everywhere, went to each store I had been to over the past few weeks, called an event venue I had been to with my items and even put an alert out in the office I worked, in just in case anybody saw my stuff! And yes, I cried too!
Then I Caught A Clue!
I figured that something else was a brewing in my house and decided to dig a little deeper. My brother in law who was an ex convict was allowed by their Mother to live in the home in the upstairs apartment with his other brother once he got out of prison. Now mind you, I had to find out on my own, after I got married to his brother that he had been incarcerated for drug dealing, weapons possession and theft before. But I was under the impression that he had beat all of that and was turning his life around for the better. I had to find out though, what was really going on in the apartment upstairs because nobody was going to tell me, obviously.
Woman’s Intuition? Yes Indeed!
I am not a stupid girl and something told me that the items that were stolen from me were taken by my brother in law. But WHY? Why on earth would he steal from his own family? This made me feel awful. I was taken advantage of and victimized by someone I thought was supposed to be my brother in law. Someone who cared about me and respected me as his brother’s wife. This was not the case, he did not care about me or anybody else in the family, not one little bit. I even tried to talk to him at one point about the thefts and he refused to talk to me.
Tanya Drew And The Case Of the Black Sheep Thefts
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I decided to play “super sleuth” one day. I got a special insiders tip on what to look for and ended up finding old Pawn Shop receipts that he had left behind. I guess perhaps he thought about buying my old items back and putting them back. Right. Yes folks he not only stole my stuff, but decided to sell my stuff. He made his way into our apartment to take from us. This caused all sorts of anger. In fact I was boiling with it. I went straight to my husband and found out he had stolen from him too. I also found out later from his other brother that everybody in the household had been stolen from. I also found out that he even stole from our daughter, his own niece! NOT COOL!
I had to go to 3 different Pawn Shops and only ended up getting less than half of my stuff back. Stuff I had to buy back because I did not want to wait for the police investigators. It felt humiliating. I also had to take on the task of pressing charges against him, which is something that I did not initially want to do. The worst part about all this is that he still did not care and came back into our home to steal again and again. The last item he took was my $400 projector (in my favorite purple duffle/rollerbag) that I was to use for sales meetings and had been using to entertain my Daughter with Disney movies. That hurt a lot because I found that he has put my Father’s binoculars back yet decided to steal one last thing from me. I could not find a receipt for that upstairs. He of course told my husband that he did not take it. Right, he pleaded guilty to the initial theft of which my Father’s binoculars were on the list of things stolen. The binoculars were back and that bag with my projector in is was gone. Of course he took it! Again, I am not stupid.
Hurting And Stealing From Your Family Is Not Cool But Getting Caught And Getting Help Is
Yes indeed, in and out of jail, promises to appear in court, stealing from us and even our neighbors, threatening me with bodily harm, multiple police officer visits to our home….was all a part of this emotionally unfortunate and painful experience. I found out later after he was caught and arrested for possession of crack cocaine, heroine, drug paraphernalia parked in his car yards from a school, about his drug addiction. His addiction is what led to his behavior. It’s what made him steal although I still have no clue as to why he put his socks in my dresser drawer.
The worse part about all of this is that I feel like his family members knew about this way before I did, but I had to find out the hard way. I had to find out after he stole from me and after I started hating him for it and his behavior towards me, which was disrespectful and uncaring.
The Cycle Of Drug Addiction Can Be Stopped But The Addict Has To Want It To
See, I understand drug addiction. My own brother suffered from it for many years before he finally beat it and I am so proud of him. I love him so much and he is alive today because he wanted to stop the cycle and he did. In the case of having someone in the family addicted to that crap, it is hard to deal with but if you truly love that family member you will not become their enabler, you will become their tough love master. You will not pamper them, you will get help for them, you will not ignore their problem, you will help them face their problem head on, you will be there for them but not make it easier for them to support their habit. If the addict does not want the help or want to stop taking drugs, you have to let them go. The problem here with his family has been the matter of enabling him, ignoring it, not dealing with it head on and allowing him to remain in the same household no matter who got hurt by his bahavior. If I knew that this was what was happening from the jump, I would have loved to have tried to step in and help him.
I Am Wishing Him The Best But I Want An Apology
The trust factor is gone and in order for me to rebuild any type of relationship with my brother in law, I personally need an apology. I am told not to hold my breath, but I do deserve an apology. I was forced to become a victim by someone I once trusted and I did not deserve that. Someone I once gave the benefit of the doubt to, someone I loved as a brother in law. To help heal, all I ask for, is a simply apology. I also ask that he continue getting the help he needs, do his time in prison, finally learn from this and in the end always remember to, just say no to drugs. Homeboy also needs some serious counseling because I am still puzzled by the whole sock incident(s).
If you have a drug addicted loved one who needs help and you need help trying to help them, please visit this website:
Or Call 800-559-9503
Wishing you all the best!
Tanya
